I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
