her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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