I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
