Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
