she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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