It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
