i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize