how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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