Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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