also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Im part way to drunk.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
