There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just want nice things and good sex
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
