oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He kissed a someone with a penis
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
