2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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