you didnt know i had herpes?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
