Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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