They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
