Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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