I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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