sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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