Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
