i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
