This is not my ceiling
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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