he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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