I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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