At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
being pregnant is like rehab
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
