So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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