yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize