i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
