I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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