is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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