There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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