From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
