I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.