Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.

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  (858): ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me. http://tfl.nu/yno6
  Replies (4) Good night (2553) Bad night (810)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her

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  (706): I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee (704): Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her http://tfl.nu/95cd
  Replies (23) Good night (4607) Bad night (820)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever

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  (913): he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever http://tfl.nu/f5uq
  Replies (35) Good night (719) Bad night (6993)
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  (631): View more from New York

  hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies

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  (631): hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies http://tfl.nu/d8pj
  Replies (34) Good night (7221) Bad night (987)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

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  (973): A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ. http://tfl.nu/a72f
  Replies (6) Good night (5701) Bad night (1091)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped

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  (781): she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped http://tfl.nu/pl2z
  Replies (8) Good night (1846) Bad night (1037)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"

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  (662): In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today" http://tfl.nu/6cpx
  Replies (30) Good night (1519) Bad night (7552)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head

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  (908): All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head http://tfl.nu/0vd0
  Replies (5) Good night (1941) Bad night (949)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything

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  (412): And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything http://tfl.nu/uj6p
  Replies (8) Good night (2406) Bad night (715)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.

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  (978): If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities. http://tfl.nu/pwci
  Replies (6) Good night (1885) Bad night (1278)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.

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  (206): You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship. http://tfl.nu/k0v9
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (1075)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?

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  (201): Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend? http://tfl.nu/zwy0
  Replies (9) Good night (2722) Bad night (657)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.

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  (480): In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me. http://tfl.nu/5anz
  Replies (2) Good night (826) Bad night (1720)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles

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  (434): After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles http://tfl.nu/5yst
  Replies (6) Good night (917) Bad night (472)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls

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  (908): Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls http://tfl.nu/2qe0
  Replies (1) Good night (469) Bad night (537)

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