Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS