Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
