Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I hate having morals and standards the next morning.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.

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(678): View more from Georgia

while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(360): View more from Washington

I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.

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(813): View more from Florida

That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station

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(530): View more from California

both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.

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(415): View more from California

I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.

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