I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge