I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
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Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
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If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
