Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick

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  (973): I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick http://tfl.nu/xw1l
  Replies (41) Good night (1258) Bad night (3823)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...

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  (302): and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare... http://tfl.nu/t5mw
  Replies (21) Good night (572) Bad night (3726)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.

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  (563): He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO. http://tfl.nu/g898
  Replies (22) Good night (901) Bad night (4244)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer

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  (734): wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer http://tfl.nu/eltm
  Replies (30) Good night (5797) Bad night (774)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.

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  (609): I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad. http://tfl.nu/4fga
  Replies (11) Good night (3284) Bad night (2067)
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  (858): View more from California

  Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.

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  (858): Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in. http://tfl.nu/efr3
  Replies (12) Good night (4570) Bad night (1052)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Going to get a "plan B"urrito

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  (612): Going to get a "plan B"urrito http://tfl.nu/muvk
  Replies (7) Good night (3207) Bad night (1452)
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  (310): View more from California

  She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.

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  (310): She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning. http://tfl.nu/tu4n
  Replies (4) Good night (828) Bad night (1500)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...

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  (309): You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion... http://tfl.nu/v1ex
  Replies (3) Good night (2756) Bad night (725)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.

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  (630): I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks. http://tfl.nu/bpzl
  Replies (3) Good night (1744) Bad night (529)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.

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  (717): Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes. http://tfl.nu/frv8
  Replies (2) Good night (1242) Bad night (445)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question

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  (319): Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question http://tfl.nu/zh3n
  Replies (7) Good night (1431) Bad night (544)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.

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  (724): I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout. http://tfl.nu/bypz
  Replies (3) Good night (873) Bad night (384)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....

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  (404): All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused.... http://tfl.nu/ik1s
  Replies (6) Good night (1852) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one

  (602): View more from Arizona

  When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them

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  (928): It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one (602): When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them http://tfl.nu/1rtq
  Replies (0) Good night (727) Bad night (362)

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