Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  How drunk are you??

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm flawless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): How drunk are you?? (732): I'm flawless. http://tfl.nu/mygo
  Replies (8) Good night (2278) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial. http://tfl.nu/yyq8
  Replies (68) Good night (4434) Bad night (1377)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there. http://tfl.nu/tyej
  Replies (14) Good night (4065) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable http://tfl.nu/dvma
  Replies (14) Good night (6105) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting. http://tfl.nu/yl2c
  Replies (13) Good night (6049) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Come find me please? Im in a ditch.

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  That doesn't help me much...

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm right under the moon!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Come find me please? Im in a ditch. (1-604): That doesn't help me much... (604): I'm right under the moon! http://tfl.nu/u7hc
  Replies (15) Good night (14075) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today? http://tfl.nu/r6wg
  Replies (7) Good night (3029) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  It'll be just me and my penis against the world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): It'll be just me and my penis against the world. http://tfl.nu/ph7y
  Replies (18) Good night (3560) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong http://tfl.nu/rbr5
  Replies (5) Good night (3013) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show" http://tfl.nu/r6m2
  Replies (7) Good night (2816) Bad night (1239)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god http://tfl.nu/z3js
  Replies (6) Good night (737) Bad night (1438)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.

  (210): View more from Texas

  my parents really loved me back then.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed. (210): my parents really loved me back then. http://tfl.nu/7xue
  Replies (9) Good night (1361) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex. http://tfl.nu/2gjc
  Replies (7) Good night (1178) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now (503): Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea http://tfl.nu/ll9z
  Replies (5) Good night (389) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him. http://tfl.nu/0htu
  Replies (2) Good night (240) Bad night (540)

Randomize