I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What changed your mind?
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Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.