so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
