She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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