It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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