Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
