why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
