she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
