i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
