Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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