would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
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