Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
A+ Viking dick
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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