hell yes lets make some ravioli
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
