i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
