ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
