I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
