what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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