So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
