i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
