I cockslap morals
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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