dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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