You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
