You're completely useless in the revolution.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize