I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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