just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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