Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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