There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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