so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
