The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
