the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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