I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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