I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize