does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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