So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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