My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
