She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
